I don't fit in.

School today. Ugh. I’m not feeling very good. Something’s off, and I don’t want to leave my bed. I’ve been at Whaley for a few weeks and that first day was nice because I was the center of attention, but now I am just another kid. If I don’t get up soon I will make everyone late.

School sucks. I hate that I don’t fit in. They all talk about what their mom made for dinner or stuff they do with their brothers and sisters. I haven’t even seen my older brother in almost a year. When the kids at school ask me about my family, I tell them I have a mom, dad, brother and dog—which was sort of true…until about six months ago.

We have a sub in Spanish class today. She doesn’t know any of our names and is stressing me out. She’s not letting me wear my headphones. Music is the only thing that keeps me calm. She just asked me a question. I don’t know the answer. Now she’s being sarcastic. I know I shouldn’t say it, but… I tell her to back the hell off.

Well, now I am in the principal’s office. Great. My first week and I’m suspended—probably in big trouble. My youth specialist is here to pick me up. Here it comes… Wait, she’s not mad. She asks me if I need to talk to my therapist. Miss Kathy. It can’t hurt I guess.

I like Miss Kathy. I know she gets paid to work here, but she is really nice to me and listens when I tell her stuff. I told her about how I was just really angry when that teacher was talking to me. She keeps asking questions and is really interested in my answers. After talking with her, she says that she wants to help me not be angry all the time. Good luck. She says she is coming over to the house tonight to teach me and the other guys relaxation techniques. Hmm…maybe she really does want to help, but whatever. Teaching me how to sit cross-legged and breathe slower isn’t going to change the fact that I just want to get out of here and back to my mom and brother. When will it ever get better?